In Person-Centred Therapy, there is a core philosophical principle known as self-actualisation. This is the belief that each of us has an innate drive to grow and become the best version of ourselves. However, life experiences and personal blocks can prevent us from reaching this potential.

From birth, we receive both implicit and explicit messages about who we are and who we should be. Over time, our self-image becomes shaped by these experiences. When negative messages and conditions of worth are internalised, they can lead to harmful patterns and behaviours.

Conditions of worth occur when our sense of value depends on gaining approval or behaving in ways that others find acceptable. As a result, we restrict ourselves, avoiding behaviours that might invite disapproval.

For example, a young child may learn that being helpful and pleasing others brings love and approval. Later, when the child feels tired or simply doesn't want to do something, they may still comply, fearing the loss of affection or acceptance. In doing so, they act against their own needs and desires.

In adulthood, this same child may grow into the colleague who is always helping others (covering shifts, taking on extra tasks, and ensuring everyone else is comfortable). Eventually, they may begin to feel stressed, anxious, and wonder why saying “no” feels so difficult.

In therapy, we gently untangle this pattern of looking outward for validation and self-worth. Together, we explore how to build a stronger sense of value from within, rooted in personal attributes, values, and authentic self-expression.